Death used to really terrify me. The funeral. Open caskets. Loved ones who like they are sleeping. I understand these things are done for the living, but they are done so we can continue to deny that we have only have this life, for sure, to live fully. I clung to the hope that there might be something else. Something better than this place called Earth, that could quite possibly become a true hell in the next few years.
My fear of death was so consuming that unless I attended a funeral, I refused to step foot in a cemetery. I could not stop thinking that the grass beneath my feet was fed by the dead below.
So I forced myself to enter them and get comfortable with years of terror through the slower process of taking 4x5 photographs. Much of the work I produce now is taken in cemeteries. Not because I am preoccupied with death, but because I accept it as a part of life.
I am really scared. Scared we won't get a chance to live a full life because of elected officials, sociopaths and psychopaths. But I do not fear death.