how to remember things.

I use my digital camera for paid work only because it produces lifeless memories. They can replicate, but not produce a memory that feels right. They are hollow and stack up on hard drives. I never look at them and if I do, I feel nothing for them. I use film to record how I felt that day. When I look at that work, years later even, I can almost always remember what happened just before and just after I took the photograph.

I used to be terrified of making mistakes. Any mistakes. Anything that might show people I was the fraud I thought I was. So with photography, if my work did not strictly adhere to what "they" said you should produce, I discarded it. We are not perfect. We are flawed. Film, if you relax with it, if you stop worrying about what "they" will say, will show "flaws." The flaws in this photograph are many but without them, the photograph, to me, is just replication and memories can never replicate the experience.


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