when you break your own heart

My issues with anxiety, as I knew it eventually would, led to, it would seem, a final break-up with a woman I loved more than I knew.

People say to move on. Get over it. Time heals all wounds. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Maybe the sea is vast and you're swallowed by regret. This sort of pain is entirely new to me. My issues with anxiety and depression ended up being simply about feeling safe. I read a few books on PTSD, one really good one by Pete Walker. Basically, if something happened to you at any point in life that you did not deal with in a healthy and complete manner, it will haunt you. Ruin you. It ruined me and my true love.

Life can be deeply painful. Some lash out and make it worse. These days I just want people to feel good. To never feel as I did for most of my adult life. We need to help each other. We need to share our answers.

I love you MJK. Always and forever, no matter what, I will always have your back.

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