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Some people are saying that some cities and people are filthy. Others say that sex is filthy. i was told it was. in fact, my mother caught me looking at a playboy in cvs when i did not even know what i was even looking at, that “it was a sing to look at things like that and i would go to hell if i did it again. thanks mom. that was only the start of the death of true intimacy for me. religion vilifies the female body specifically, with all major religions hung up on the myth of virgin birth. i read the compendium by hitchens “the portable atheist” and it set me free way more than jesus ever did. that book was where i read about all major religions being terrified of female biology. the suggestion was simple: power. vilify, condemn something, terrify people because god talks to you and basically you get what you want: power. Control. it’s an intoxicant to have people think you are a messenger of god. I just read in the huffington post (not ever saying “huffpo”) that an author who grew up in nepal was still deeply ashamed when she got her period. She went on to talk about how her aunts had to sit outside and eat meals if they were on their period. anyone on their period was forbidden to touch or prepare food.

My life was ruined by fear. dear generates anxiety if it is not dealt with in a healthy manner. i had no idea how bad off i really was with my anxiety and depression. I mean, i was house-bound for most of my adult life due to a terror of germs, specifically human excretions. Dog shit was fine, but human shit would send me to the hospital. smeared blood, or even the possibility of smeared blood would render a facility or location off limits forever. So basically, anything brown, could have been shit, or blood as blood turns brown when it dries. Anyway, the point is, terror will fuck you up. Mythology will fuck you up. free yourself. enjoy your body. there is no god to tell you you can’t touch yourself. there is no god to suggest your mentrual blood is foul. these are things men thought up a very long time ago to control other people. Maybe some of them thought they were doing good, but after years of translations, of what i don’t even know, it’s been distrorted and maniulated and does way more harm than good. I honestly don’t know the good it does. i just don’t.

if you do not deal with your fear, it will ruin your life. it will allow sociopaths (no shortage of them) to control you. do not let them do that.

Sex is not filthy. nor is mentrual blood or ejaculate. men are currently doing everything they can to legislate the bodies and actions of women. do not let them. they are afraid too. maybe mommy told mitch mcconnel that he would go to hell if he looked at a playboy and now he hates women. I don’t know nor do i care what mitch thinks. i do care what he does. i do care that has the power to kill proposed legislation by never bringing it to the floor for a vote. fuck that guy.

All you can do is treat yourself and others with kindness. when you are going down rabbit holes of religious mysths for answers, chances are good you’ll end up more less and deeply terrified you will burn in hell because some men mad up laws about life and how to live it.

so, “art filth” is neither art nor filth. our films are just stories about why we are fucked up and how me got better. That’s it. we try our best to make them work based on what we know about the power of media. i think we all now know about the devastating power of media. it can be used for good, or it can be used as it is now, for pure evil.

these are just little films. i do not call them art. i do not even think of them as films. they are pixels and sounds. but if we align them them the right way we hope you feel something when you watch them. we honestly want you to be happy and to be well. to feel loved and connected to something better than what we see on tv every single night.

“the problem with protofeminism” score by ed blaney and mark e. smith of the fall

“the problem with protofeminism” score by ed blaney and mark e. smith of the fall