i do not know why people feel compelled to inform you that there is only one way you should make a photograph. you must process this way, at this temperature, or you are an idiot. if you do not do things how i told you to do them, then you are an idiot. mistakes are forbidden. do not experiment. instead, conform. emulate. fuck you for having scratches on your negatives.
this image was made ages ago. i think i used an old zeiss ikon contina. also: you must take and share exhaustive notes on everything you do and be able to recall on command what you did, or you are an idiot. burn all mistakes. never even consider sharing the fact that you had to learn. you did not come from the womb an expert. they were born elite and brilliant, with a mysterious set of skills that you will never master. do not even try. so, this is a mistake, made with a broken camera. by the rules of my peers it should have been discarded. hidden from view at all costs, and never admitted to. the lines were from another mistake i made when scanning the negative. it was scanned with a nikon 8000 ed. i forget what i did, but it was wrong, and it resulted in the lines that i initially loved. i though it looked like parchment paper. then i realized i had made a mistake in the scanning process, and removed all trace of it from the electronic places. but, i don’t believe you should hide your answers. so much of what i used to do was born out of a deep intellectual insecurity that has hounded me all my life. i did not want to look like an idiot. a fraud. all i want to do now is share everything i have ever learned about photography and visual expression, because it has freed me from a deep abiding depression and resulting anxiety, which in turn led to a life of doing nothing outside of staring out a window watching others live their lives. cartier bresson said our duty is to share our truths, so i will try and do that here, each and every time i find a way to dispel even a molecule of stress from this daily life. even if it is by mistake.